Why We’re Not Watching the Oi Rio No

For one, I drank too much wine last night and took the wrong pill.  The choice wasn’t between red or blue, this isn’t the Matrix.  It was between orange and white.  The orange was smaller so I went with that one.  Bad choice (which is a funny conclusion as I don’t know how the white pill would have treated me) because I woke up with my boots on, fully laced up sleeping the wrong way on the bed, and every single piece of clothing I own on the floor in the middle of the room.

That’s one reason why I’m not watching.

Another, is that the waves are chest high and shit.

The entire contest feels scattered and amateur – like at any moment reports could come in that one of the surfers have been kidnapped.  Or that it’s cancelled because everyone is shitting themselves.  Knife fights, murder, sex, drugs…holy shit.

THIS IS THE BEST CONTEST OF THE YEAR.  Get me to Rio boy! .

I’m going to take the white pill tonight (with Jamaican beer).

Wake me up for Cloudbreak.

Onya!

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