No Margs’ Today

Kieron Perrow woke up, put on his finest zip up flannel and proclaimed to the beautiful Rosie Hodge “It’s just not that good today, I’m calling it off.” Rosie then asked how long Kieren has been growing that glorious mane of a beard and Kieren responded “no comment”

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Kieren and Rosie 

There’s a new swell on the way out of the West with some Box possibilities looking likely for Saturday. We’ll keep you updated on the contest and Kieren’s facial hair.

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Dusty Bringing The Payne

Dusty exits the contest after a close heat with Ace Buchan.  Moments before this photo was snapped, he was seen throwing his fist repeatedly into the front of his board.  Ace, who was noticeably uncomfortable, paddled out, while Dusty paddled in.  “Fuck,” he yelled as the camera panned to him.  Wish we could have gotten that one on camera.  That’s not what we’re known for, though, is it?  We’ll get better. Or worse.  Either way we’ll sleep.

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Wiggles Going 12’oclock

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Suck it, said Wiggoly, before flopping under the whitewater and out the other side, avoiding entirely the dreaded surgeon’s table.

But wait, the commentator, who I’m failing to put a name to voice, interjects.

“There’s a bit of cushion on this surgeon’s table, eh?  The one at HT’s in the mentawais is really sharp,” he said, sounding smart despite not being so (assumptions, eh?).  Accents really do something to me.  They’re like spray tans, except they don’t rub off on your clothes and smell like peanuts and sunscreen.

Onya!

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About a 1/4 inch Thicker

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Gripping report from the changing room by Strider Wasiyewwwwski.  Looks like Leonardo Fioravanti (wish i was called Leonardo…..i’m not….I’m Strange Ben) rides a board made by a guy who used to shape for Kelly who now shapes for Leonardo who ate pasta with this guy’s sister’s neighbor, and they both ended up drinking wine with another guy who shaped a board that Kelly Slatener once looked at. Small world Strides. Small world.  These equipment reports are almost worse than listening to Chris Cote narrate a nature documentary.

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Actually it’s worse than watching Ke11y finally act his age.  First Kobe, now Taj.  I think this is the beginning of the end for Sir Slates.  Old Man River going down to the Kid from Rome.

Shed tears, drink beers.

Onya? Who cares.