The WSL is no longer of punk rock, nor has it been for some time, but after last night’s party held for Mick Fanning at the Torquay retirement home banquet hall, it is certain.
The retirement party, which was live-streamed and instagrammed by most people in attendance, was a not-so-subtle reminder of the days when Wardo and AI and Bruce and, hell, Eugene were on tour and the atmosphere felt more like a dystopian battle royale than a friendly get-together before an afternoon nap.
I’m not sure what the solution is, but I, along with many others, would love a nice shot of adrenaline and (disregard for) life to be shoved into the flimsy arm of the World Surf League. Perhaps I am more a fan of Brazilian surfing than I initially thought.
I’ll take white-walker Felipe charging the judges’ tent or Medina dropping in on everyone within sight because he’s in a bad mood over this lesbian haircut tea party that the WSL has become.
Where is the grit? Where are the fights? Where’s the tequila?
As in any sport, there comes a time when the torch is passed — it’s inevitable. However, it’s much nicer when it happens willingly and doesn’t become a necessity. I fear we are teetering on that very thin line.
It’s like Batman says, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”
Kelly seems to be getting grumpier with age, at least.
Onya.
-Strange
As wholesome as they come, Connor Coffin reminds me of warm banana bread fresh out of the oven. A talented musician it would seem as evidenced through the many photographs of him with a guitar, Connor has effectively branded himself as the antithesis to the Noa Deanes and Creed McTaggarts of the surfing world. It’s not a bad play, but it’s not one that I particularly care for. Connor is so skilled at this imagery that he makes Jack Johnson look like Ozzy Osbourne. Although, I must admit, I’ve never heard Coffin play or sing or any of that — this is strictly a branding exercise. I once dubbed him the Golden Nugget of Glory, California’s last hope. I no longer feel he embodies this title, for he has transformed. No longer gold or a nugget, Connor Coffin has become the Pensive Heartthrob, California’s favorite jam puppy and, perhaps, last hope. That being said, those who brand themselves in this very warm light, usually have a dark side. One day, and I hope it’s soon, Connor’s dark side will reveal itself. Until then, however, I’ll still root for Connor and his demons. Coffin will always have a place in our hearts here at Surf Heater.
Perhaps, Gabriel can recruit his stepfather Charlie to sit on his shoulder like Jafar’s trusty, loud-mouthed sidekick parrot, Iago. Actually, as it is now, that’s not so far from reality.
